


The Perfect Present For You

by FusionFollower



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Christmas fic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, One-Shot, Secret Santa, Some angst, a few past relationships, but everyone's good friends so no hard feelings, but it's light, everyone sucks at it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21917032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FusionFollower/pseuds/FusionFollower
Summary: Roxy makes everyone play secret Santa, and they learn how little they know each other in the process.In which everyone gets the person they had no clue how to shop for and the reality of their friendship is brought to the surface.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido, Tavros Nitram/Vriska Serket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	The Perfect Present For You

**Author's Note:**

> I have...no confidence in my ability to write Homestuck fics, but I'll never get better if I don't at least try. So...here's a Christmas fic, happy holiday's everyone.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck.

"You want to play what?" Karkat questioned in disbelief, arms crossed as he narrowed his eyes at Roxy. 

It was a couple days before Christmas, everyone was hanging out in John's backyard as usual. After knowing each other for so long, it became routine when it came to hanging out at each other's houses, they had a rotation with a couple exceptions (such as Dave and Dirk's house, Vriska's house and Gamzee's house). 

Roxy nodded enthusiastically, a hat filled with paper in her hand. "We'll each take a card and then have to buy a gift for that person, it'll be fun!"

"Um...I-I dunno...that sounds like a lot of pressure..." Tavros swallowed hard. Vriska was sat on his lap and had her arms around his neck. She scoffed. 

"Don't be such a coward Tavros, it'll be fun. Who knows, maybe you'll luck out and not have to buy me something, which would be good for me to since we both know you'll get it wrong." She smiled.

Sometimes nobody knew why Tavros and Vriska even stuck together, their relationship was barely working.

"I say let's do it, come on we're all friends, no matter who we get this will be easy." Aradia said confidently from her place next to Sollux. Most of the friends were sat on the grass, with the exceptions of Tavros (who was in his wheelchair) and Rose and Kanaya who had taken the one bench set up.

"Can we trade with each other?" Nepeta questioned.

Roxy shook her head. "No! The whole point is that we put thought into each other's gifts, as a way of showing how much we mean to each other you know? Then on Christmas we can all give each other our gifts." She grinned.

"Sure why not?" John shrugged.

"Sounds like fun." Jade smiled.

Many seemed a bit reluctant to do it, but as the others stepped forward to take a paper everyone found themselves doing the same.

"Remember, no telling each other who you got." Roxy giggled and looked at who she got. She squealed a little.

"Um, I can't read mine." Terezi spoke up awkwardly.

Karkat grunted. "Can I tell Terezi who she got?"

"Fine, but whisper it, if you can." Roxy joked, earning a glare from Karkat.

He quickly looked at who Terezi got and whispered it in her ear, she smiled a little mischievously. "Got it."

"Alright everyone, good luck finding a gift for your secret Santa." Roxy winked.

But as everyone continued thinking of ideas for each other, they realized they were going to need all the luck they could get.

~~~

"I am so screwed." Dirk commented, he and Jane were drinking coffee at a cafe.

She smiled in amusement and sipped her drink. "And why is that?"

"I got about the only person who I have literally no clue what to buy for. I- like, okay, I'm, this is not my, I'm not meant for this kind of party game." He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

Jane snickered. "You mean a game where you have to think about other people."

"Exactly."

"Look it's not hard, if you're that stuck then just try talking to them, learn about them." Jane shrugged.

Dirk sighed heavily. "That sounds like the worst time ever."

"If it makes you feel better, I got the absolute worst person too. I have no clue what to get them." She told him.

"Trust me, whoever you have isn't as bad as who I got. I guess I should get going now, only got couple days to do this. Later Jane." He placed enough money down for his drink and Jane's before heading out of the cafe.

The moment Dirk was out, Jane took out her phone and dialed a number. "HELP ME!" She hissed into her phone.

_"Something wrong Janey?"_ Roxy asked over the phone.

"I have no idea what to get the person I got and I've gotta get help." She said desperatly.

Roxy sighed. _"I'm sorry Janey, you'll just have to think about it on your own. I can't help you. Ttyl."_ She hung up.

Jane groaned and sunk into her seat.

What the hell was she suppose to get Dirk?

~~~

Dirk entered the house to see Dave on top of Karkat making out on the couch. "Whoa Jesus, uh, should I like, come back later?" The two immedientally broke apart when he spoke, both looking like they just had heart attacks.

They quickly scrambled off the couch and Dave tried his best to look casual. "Hey...bro..."

"...Really...we're gonna pretend that you two weren't going at it, on the couch, in the middle of the day." Dirk commented.

"Wow look at me leaving now." Karkat yanked up his sweater to cover the painfully obvious hickey marks forming on his skin and rushed out the front door past Dirk as quickly as possible.

Dirk snorted "Smooth."

"Look I'm sorry, I would've warned you but I didn't know when Bro would get back, I had to take the chance." Dave sighed.

"Welp, you walked in once on Jake and I actually doing it on the couch, so I guess we'll call it even." Dirk commented, Dave shuddered in horror at the memory.

Dirk huffed and sat down at the table. "You gotta help me, I don't know what to do about my secret Santa."

"Just buy 'em whatever." Dave shrugged.

"I can't. This one...is important." Dirk explained.

Dave paused. "...Who is it?"

"Can't say, Roxy would kill me."

"Fair enough. My task feels impossible too, and it's also super weird." Dave told him, putting his hands in his pockets.

Dirk scoffed. "Believe me, I get it."

"This was sort of a shitty idea." Dave commented.

"Yup."

Be even so, neither wanted to disappoint Roxy, or their secret Santa; it wouldn't be right.

Dave headed off to his room and Dirk whipped out his phone and opened a notepad on it. He wrote down things he somewhat knew his secret Santa liked.

After a couple minutes of silence he groaned in frustration.

~~~

"Wow, this looks great!" John beamed at his creation.

Kanaya nodded. "It does...what is it?" John rolled his eyes and face planted into the desk, covering his face with his arms. 

"It's suppose to be a skirt." He snapped.

"...Forgive me John, but I don't believe skirts have sleeves." Kanaya commented.

John scowled. "I don't know what happened! Sewing machines are stupid!" 

"Don't blame the machine when the creator is clearly at fault." She told him stiffly, a tad offended he made fun of her sewing device.

"Look I'm sorry Kanaya, this is literally my first time ever even touching a sewing machine. I don't know how to make a skirt." He sighed.

Kanaya bit her lip before sighing softly. John's eyes widened as she sat down super close to him, their legs pressed together and shoulders brushing. "Explain your vision, I will take care of it."

A grin formed on John's face as he explained his design. Kanaya immedientally to work and unlike John, she not only was able to make it but she made it quickly.

"Wow, that was awesome." He told her when she finished. She handed the skirt to him with a small smile.

"If you wouldn't mind John, I have to decide on a gift for the person I got." She told him.

John took the hint and left her house immedientally.

The moment he left Kanaya got to work on her gift, she had an idea of what she wanted to give she just didn't know how to make it.

~~~

"It's so cute watching them all struggle." Eridan smirked, his arm around Feferi's waist.

She giggled lightly. They were at her house cuddling by the fireplace. "We got lucky. I knew from the moment I saw who I got what I wanted to give them."

"For a split second I was a tad nervous, but then I realized how simple mine actually was." Eridan told her.

"Still, I feel a bit bad for everyone else. Equius, Sollux and Tavros have already called asking for help." Feferi said.

Eridan scoffed. "We're not suppose to help each other."

"Exactly. So what'd you get me for Christmas?" She asked with a grin.

"We did secret Santa so we didn't have to buy each other gifts, do you honestly think I went out of my way to purchase you anything?" Eridan snapped.

Feferi gave him a knowing smile. "Eridan."

"Okay I may have bought you one thing," He admitted taking a small box but long box out of his pocket, he handed it to her.

She opened it and beamed. "Oh Eridan...it's beautiful." It was a silver necklace with the Pisces and Aquarius symbols on it.

"It better be. Had it specially ordered, just for you my dear." He smiled, looking very proud of himself.

Feferi kissed his cheek and slipped the necklace on. "I love it."

"Of course you do." He smirked.

~~~

Nepeta swung on the swing at the park sadly, staring at the ground. "Why are you so depressed?" Equius asked calmly from the swing next to her, but he wasn't actually swinging.

"...I...I just really wanted to get Karkitty for secret Santa you know?" Nepeta told him sadly.

Equius scowled. He didn't blame Karkat, he couldn't, not when he knew Karkat liked boys, that was out of his control.

But he just...wished it didn't hurt Nepeta so badly.

"Am I stupid fur thinking I ever had a chance?" Nepeta asked with watery eyes.

"No, of course not...Nepeta, if I could make Karkat love you I'd do it in a heartbeat." He sighed.

Nepeta's eyes widened. "You would?"

"...Yes...even if he tears me apart inside." Equius told her simply before getting up and walking away, he couldn't face her, he wasn't strong enough, not yet.

~~~

"Okay you worthless pieces of trash, don't worry Karkat when I'm talking about you I mean it with love," Vriska winked at him and Karkat scowled. "Let's get this secret Santa shit over with."

It was Christmas day, and everyone was over at Karkat's house for it. The living room was a tad small but they all sit fit relatively well.

"Who's gonna start?" John questioned.

Roxy grinned. "I'll decide!!!" She jumped up. "Okay...I'll start!" Nobody was surprised.

They watched as she picked up her gift and rushed over to Terezi. "Merry Christmas from your secret Santa Terezi!" She handed it over.

Terezi smiled a little as she took the gift, feeling around it and unwrapping the paper, she turned her head to look at John.

"Scented markers..." John smiled a little.

"I thought you could mark stuff with them, so that you'll know what and where they are! There's 50 different colors." Roxy told her excitedly.

Terezi grinned, showing off her weirdly sharp teeth. "Thanks Roxy. Should I go next?"

"Sure why not?" Roxy smiled.

Slowly Terezi stood up and held up her present, smiling sheepishly. "Babe where's Kanaya?" John took her elbow and carefully lead her around the room over to Kanaya.

"You're my secret Santa?" Kanaya questioned calmly.

"Try not to be too disappointed." She teased, handing over the gift.

Kanaya unwrapped it and her eyes widened. "A-A signed copy of Twilight!?"

"Oh god." Karkat face palmed.

Rose smirked a little. "My my, what a nice gift."

"Not gonna lie, it was really hard to think of something you'd like...but it was worth the effort." Terezi grinned.

"Thank you." Kanaya smiled softly and hugged her.

Terezi sat back down along with John and Kanaya took her gift out and stood up. She went over to Aradia.

"Ooh!" Aradia grinned, taking it from her quickly. She unwrapped it and gasped. It was a safari hat and it had her zodiac symbol on it. 

"I thought you could wear it when you go adventuring next." Kanaya told her simply.

Aradia hugged her and then sat back down. "I love it, thank you." She quickly put it on and looked at Sollux. "What do you think?"

Sollux smirked. "Sexy as always." He pressed a kiss to her neck, making her giggle.

"BLEH!" Karkat gagged obnoxiously, making them look at him. "Yeah hear me?" He did it again.

"Fuck off KK." Sollux stuck his tongue out childishly.

Aradia sighed. "Anyways, it's my turn. Tavros..." She grinned.

"O-Oh?" Tavros' eyes widened as Aradia gestured to the giant gift.

Hesitantly he unwrapped it and opened the box, he gasped.

It was a new wheelchair, and it looked like it was incredibly good quality too.

"It's the best one I could find, it should be much easier to turn and stuff." Aradia explained.

Tavros looked ready to cry. "...Thank you Aradia...please come here so I can hug you..." She giggled softly and went over to hug him gently.

"Okay that's enough." Vriska said when their hug lasted for more than half a second. They broke apart and Aradia sat back down.

"Um...okay...uh...h-here I guess..." Tavros said awkwardly, handing a box to Dave.

Dave smiled. "Aw shucks." He opened it and his eyes widened behind his shades.

"Y-You said your bro kinda trashed your old one?...well uh, now you have a new one..." Tavros explained nervously.

It was a camera, and a really fancy one at that. It was black and had a very good lens. 

"I didn't actually know if uh, you even liked taking pictures anymore? And when I realized I had no idea I felt really bad cause uh, I should probably know something like that and uh...yeah..." He trailed off awkwardly.

Dave bit his lip and seemed to swallow hard before looking at Tavros. "...Thank you, Tavros. Seriously." 

Tavros let out a breath of relief when he realized Dave was pleased with the gift.

"Alright uh, shit man, this is sort of super weird, but uh..." Dave looked at Sollux awkwardly.

Karkat snorted and covered his mouth. "Oh wow."

It wasn't a secret that Karkat and Sollux use to date, everybody knew it. The only reason they even broke up is because Sollux fell for Aradia. But it was partially thanks to comforting Karkat after the break up that he and Dave are together now so... 

Yay?

"Let's get this over with." Sollux deadpanned.

"Sounds good." Dave nodded and quickly handed him a paper.

Sollux looked it over and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You bought me a tree?"

"A tree with a giant beehive in it. You're always saying how bees relax you and how you like time to yourself, well if you're hanging out at that tree then nobodies gonna bug you out of fear of being stung. Thought it could be like your place to go chill when you need to." Dave explained.

At the explanation, a smile started forming on Sollux's lips. "Wow, shit, that's really fucking thoughtful."

"Heh, what can I say, I'm awesome." Dave smirked.

Karkat rolled his eyes at that but didn't say anything.

"It's Christmas what the hell, come on." Sollux opened his arms. Dave shrugged with a smile and hugged him. 

"Gaaaaaayyyy." Vriska whispered loudly, making some of the others laugh.

"Merry Christmas dude." He smiled, Sollux smirked a little at that and broke their hug.

Dave went and sat back down and Sollux went next. "I'll keep this brief. My gift to you John is programming lessons, you're always saying how interested you are but you fucking suck, I mean you're like awful. So Merry Christmas."

"...Thanks?" John said with narrowed eyes, then shook his head. "Feferi...here..." He practically shoved the gift into Feferi's hands.

Feferi smiled and opened it, her eyes widened. It was a purple and orange skirt, and it had her sign on it. "Oh John, it's beautiful."

"Why the fuck are you buying my girl a skirt?" Eridan snapped.

"Because I don't know how to shop for a girl." He deadpanned.

Terezi smirked. "True story, once he bought me binoculars."

Everyone stared at John in disbelief, he flushed red.

"I didn't think it through..."

Feferi giggled and spoke up. "My turn. Here Vriska." Vriska's eyes widened and she smirking, taking the small box from Feferi.

She opened it stared at the gift in confusion, then raised an eyebrow. "Oh...a key..."

"A key to my house, or, our house." Feferi smiled.

"What?" Vriska frowned.

"You're always complaining that you don't have the money to move out of your house and...I-I'm tired of seeing the bruises you have the next day after a fight with your mom. So...I want you to live with me."

Vriska's eyes widened, her mouth fell open a little. "...Wow..."

Everyone stared at them with wide eyes.

"Way to make our gifts look fucking awful Feferi." Sollux commented.

Feferi giggled at that. "...So?" She asked hesitantly.

"...My mom's gonna kill me." Vriska chuckled.

Her eyes widened. "Is that a yes?"

She smirked. "Yeah sure, why not? If you're that desperate for company." Feferi beamed and hugged her tightly, and after a moment Vriska returned the hug.

Vriska sighed. "Okay okay enough mushy crap. Nepeta, Merry Christmas." She smirked.

"Oh god." Equius cringed, feeling very concerned at whatever Nepeta was about to get.

They all watched as Vriska went over to Karkat and mumbled something to him, Karkat hissed something back quietly and they argued like that for a moment before Vriska finally exclaimed loudly. "DO IT!" She hissed.

Karkat reluctantly got up and went over to Nepeta. "...Look Nepeta, I know how you feel about me...and I can't return those feelings, I'm sorry. But...here." Nepeta's eyes widened as Karkat placed his lips over hers. Everyone's jaws dropped.

Nepeta flushed red, eyes sparkling.

He broke the kiss and smiled a little. "Now you can say your first kiss was me, that's what you always wanted right?"

"...Thank you..." Nepeta teared up a little, hugging him tightly. Karkat returned the hug gently. Even if they couldn't be together, at least she got the kiss she always dreamed of, that was enough.

"What the fuck?" Equius snapped.

"Uh yeah right there with you." Dave scowled.

Nepeta was still beaming as she went over to Jade, carrying her gift carefully. "Here you go, be careful."

Jade hesitantly opened the box and gasped as a tiny black puppy jumped out, wagging its tail like crazy. "Oh my god."

"It's so cute..." Roxy gushed.

"This way Bec will have company." Nepeta grinned.

Jade giggled as the puppy licked her face. "Oh my gosh thank you Nepeta, he's adorable."

She gently sat the puppy down and it started playing with the wrapping paper on the floor.

"Okay, my turn. Equius. You're always wishing you had more to share with Nepeta. So as your gift, I'm gonna teach you hopscotch." Everyone's eyes widened.

"YEAHHHH!" Equius exclaimed...happily?

He had a smile on his face. "I WILL MASTER THIS CAME FOR NEPETA!" Nepeta stared with wide eyes.

When Equius calmed down, he gave Rose his gift. Enjoy."

Rose stared at the photo Equius handed her with a blank face, making everyone confused.

Slowly she started blushing, making them even more confused.

"What is it?" Kanaya frowned.

A ghost of a smile formed on Rose's lips. "Just something for me to enjoy."

Vriska glanced over at the picture and snorted. "Oh wow, that's a treat."

Aradia looked over to and snickered. "Oh, a treat it is."

"What is it?" Kanaya pouted when Rose held it away from her.

"Merry Christmas." Equius told her calmly.

Rose smiled. "Merry Christmas. Now then, Jane." Jane's eyes widened as Rose handed her a bag.

She took out the tissue paper and looked inside, gasping.

It was cookie cutters, one shaped like each of them.

"This way you can think of us when you're baking." Rose smiled.

"Oh my gosh these are so cute." Jane grinned, taking out the cutter shaped like Tavros.

While the two were talking, Kanaya took the picture from rose quickly. Her face flushed red and her jaw dropped.

It was a picture of her, but she was laid on a bed completely naked, looking at the camera seductively.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Kanaya hissed in embarrassment.

"How did you even make that?" Feferi questioned with amusement.

"Lots of photo shop." Equius explained.

Nepeta frowned. "But you know nothing about that."

They all looked at Dave.

"Fuck no, that's weird." Dave shuddered at the thought of making something like that for his cousin.

Sollux rolled his eyes. "For fucks sake I made it."

"Impressive." Aradia told him.

"Okay, my turn," Jane spoke up, making them all look at her. She took a deep breath and looked at Dirk. "I...had no idea what to get you...I thought about it for a long time...and I realized I didn't know you as well as I wanted too...and that made me really sad...but then I thought 'what is the most important thing in the world to Dirk?' and well..." Jane held out a small box.

Dirk took it hesitantly and opened it, staring at it silently. "...A necklace?"

Jane giggled. "A locket," She corrected. "Open it."

He opened it like she said and his eyes widened behind his shades. One of the photos was of him, Jake, Jane and Roxy grinning, and the other was of him and Dave smiling.

"You care about all of us...but I know you care about us especially...we've known each other all our lives...I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you cared till now." Jane told him softly.

Jake teared up. "Where is the tissues!?" Vriska chucked the box at him hard, but he didn't care about the pain and wiped at his eyes.

The locket was gold and shaped like a heart. Letting out a shaky breath, Dirk spoke. "...Wow...thanks, Crocker."

Jane smiled softly as Dirk put the necklace on and then put it behind his tank top. She would bet money that he'll never take it off unless he has too.

"Okay uh, shit, I guess I'm up...god..." Dirk took a deep breath before looking at Karkat. "Sorry in advance if you hate it."

Karkat's eyes widened. He hesitantly took the box from Dirk and opened it, his face turned sour. "...A pair of shades?"

"Strider's have shades, we all do. Even Roxy and Rose who are only our cousins each own a pair, even though they never wear them." Dirk explained.

He frowned. "...Why did you give me this?"

"...All Strider's have shades...and I know that's gonna include you someday." Dirk smiling knowingly as he looked at Dave and Karkat.

Karkat blinked, and slowly the implications of the gift registered in his mind

He flushed bright red. "HOLY SHIT-"

"Wow uh, that's no fucking pressure at all-" Dave stuttered, going red himself.

Dirk held back a chuckle as the two tried to collect themselves.

"Well fuck, my gift is totally lame now, but uh, here. Merry fucking Christmas." Karkat shoved the gift into Roxy's hands.

She beamed and opened it quickly, eyes widening.

It was a scrapbook, every page was filled with photos of them all hanging out, some including all of them and then a bunch of different groups of them.

"You're always bringing us together for shit like this...so you deserve to have the most memories of us." Karkat told her in a grumble.

A tear slid down Roxy's cheek and Karkat paled.

"Holy fuck no-" Roxy hugged him tightly as she cried.

"SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!" Karkat shrieked as she cried harder. 

Everyone just smiled and watched them silently, despite Karkat's cries for help.

"This is the best gift I've ever gotten." Roxy sniffed, smiling brightly as tears rolled down her face. "Thank you so much." Without warning she pressed a kiss to Karkat's cheek, making his eyes widen.

"Uh, so what do we do now? You've already gone Roxy." Vriska frowned.

"I'll just go." Jake spoke up, they all nodded. He smiled and looked at Eridan sheepishly.

"I tried to think of something to give you...and I know how much you like bossing people around. So...for one week, I'll be your assistant."

Eridan's eyes widened. "My assistant?"

"I'll do whatever you want, whenever you want, as long as it's not illegal or hurts my relationship with Dirk." Jake smiled.

He smirked. "Interesting, I like it, very useful," His smirk morphed into a smile. "I guess I'll go next." 

Everyone watched as Eridan took out a six pack of beer, making their jaws drop, he gave it to Gamzee. "There ya go."

Gamzee's eyes widened. "Yes...." He said in a weird whisper.

"Where did you get that?" Karkat questioned.

"My dad." Eridan smirked.

Gamzee looked at Jake with a lazy smile. "Merry motherfucking Christmas my man...enjoy this tasty treat." He handed three books to Jake.

Jake stared at them. "...You bought me guy on guy porn?"

"Hell yeah motherfucker...thought they could inspire you for your bedroom times..."

"Interesting." Dirk immedientally picked one up when he said that, skimming through it. Jake smacked him on the back of the head and took the book back.

Roxy grinned. "I think this went better than we all expected."

"Hell yeah." Dave grinned, playing with his camera. He took a picture of them all.

"Merry Christmas guys." John smiled.

The others all smiled, at least a little bit. "Merry Christmas!"

**Author's Note:**

> I know the ending was sudden, I just had no clue how to end it and I woke up at 3 in the morning T_T


End file.
